Mommy's New Job

Mommy got a new job. She used to work all the time. We never got to see her.
Earlier this summer, she came home from work one day and said her boss was a complete moron and she was quitting that job. The human boy and all of us kitties were so happy and excited that Mommy wasn't going to be getting up at 1 o'clock in the morning and going to work until 4 or 5 o'clock at night anymore. She is a sweet Mommy and so nice. I 'm glad her boss was such a dummy. His loss was our gain! We had Mommy back! Until yesterday...

She was offered a good job with Starbucks Coffee. They promise not to make my Mommy work all the time. They say they actually want her to spend time with her family. She seems really excited, but all I know is Mommy was gone for about 9 hours yesterday and we were sad. We got really anxious - for all we knew she might be gone forever... it sure felt that way! We had Mommy home for 2 whole months and we loved it... and now the house was so quiet. What were we to do all day?

We all got together and decided to mutilate Red Mousy. Why not? We did not really like him much anyway. Blue Mousy is way cooler. So we ripped off his tail and left him for dead. Oh, the carnage!

Next, we went to the bathroom trashcan and pulled a bunch of dirty tissues out and scattered them all over the place (they had Mommy smell on them).

Then Sammy decided she would pee all over the game pad for the "Dance, Dance Revolution" game (the boy should not have left it in the floor).

Then one kitty, who will remain nameless, got so upset he had diarrhea all around the litter box. What a stinky mess that was! (He didn't want to do it...it just happened.)

Chipper missed Mommy so much he hocked up hairballs on the floor and the couch in the den. Then he went and fell asleep on Mommy's bed. (He is always so sensitive.)

We're O.K. now... Mommy came home. She made the boy clean up the mess. He didn't seem too happy about it. If looks could kill, we would have all had our tails ripped off and been left for dead. Mommy would never let him hurt us. She protected us. She understood. We just missed her.

Puddin's Happy Thoughts

Hi! I am a happy little guy most of the time. Being a kitty cat can really be tough sometimes. Like, when the food bowl is getting low because one of the other kitties pigged out and Mommy is not home to fill it back up... or when another cat has just made a really stinky poop in the box but I just can't hold it any longer. It's also pretty bad when I go to get a drink from the water bowl and another kitty backwashed into the bowl...that is just so nasty!
It really sucks when I want to go sit in Mommy's lap and another kitty is already there. The worst thing is when I am sitting in a dark room and that goofy human boy comes tromping through the room and steps on my tail! OUCH! Like it isn't bad enough that he trapped me in his room all day while he was at school once.

Anyhoo, my point is, to get through all these difficult times I have to rely on some happy thoughts to make my world better.

These are my happy thoughts:

1) I love laying on the laundry (especially if it hasn't gone into the wash monster yet.)

2) I love Blue Mousy. He's my buddy.

3) I love to carry Mommy's underwear away while she is in the shower (it's so funny watching her hunt it down when she gets out) and put it somewhere really funny... like on the kitchen counter or maybe the living room couch.

4) I love drinking out of the faucet when the water is running.

5) I love my brother, Chipper.

6) I love sniffing Twiggy's butt! That's goooood stuff!

7) I love watching Mommy go potty...I never miss it. What is all that rolled up paper for anyway? She's got a tongue. Just so confusing.

8) I love the catnip. Need more catnip!

9) I love the fishy song...If Mommy watches it I come runnin'...you need to watch this...it is great! http://www.rathergood.com/fishy/

10) Most of all, I love my mommy and she loves me!

Oh... and a freshly cleaned litter box. That is the ultimate happy thought. Pure nirvana!

Chipper Chat

Hi, I'm Chipper and it's time for my new addition to Mommy's blog. I call it "Chipper Chat". I will ask questions that are weighing heavy on our little kitty cat minds and see if maybe anyone out there can help us out. You can leave your answers in the comments section.

This is my question for today...

Who is the cutest kitty on this blog?

Please help because Mommy says we need to quit fighting with each other. (I already know who the winner will be, but I want proof for the other kitties) - O.K.? Thank You!

Flying Chickens - Stoney's Miracle

Yesterday, the clouds parted and a ray of sun shone down right upon me. It was truly miraculous. After months of eating nothing but that dry crunchy cat food and the occasional can of "Salmon Supper" Mommy feeds us, my prayers were answered.
It was a normal day, much like all the others. I was just laying around... torturing Sammy every chance I got... and doing my typical booty sniffing "meet and greets" when my world suddenly got brighter and I was given a whole new reason to live. It all started like this:

Mommy brought home a box of the most delicious smelling stuff my nose had ever sniffed. She was bringing it to the table. I knew I had to have some, but I knew that would never happen... If I even "thought" about trying to get near it, Mommy and the boy would start making all these loud noises and shooing me away... "NO!" is a word I have become very familiar with when they eat meals. I quit trying a long time ago. Then all of a sudden, much to my surprise, I saw a beautiful thing. The bottom of the box gave way and there was flying chicken as far as my eyes could see! Golden, tender chicken strips showering down from the heavens!

Hallelujah! ...
I moved my little legs as fast as they could carry me! "Paws don't fail me now", I thought... It was as if the whole thing was happening in slow motion! I grabbed a juicy morsel and ran off to a safe place. I was not about to lose it!
I couldn't eat the whole thing before Mommy found me and threw the rest out. But you know what, that is O.K.! All I needed was a taste of the sweet life... and it was soooo good. I will never forget the day of the flying chickens!

Inanimate Objects

While the phrase "inanimate objects" does describe my cats about 80% of the time, it is not what I am refering to in today's post. There are two sets of inanimate objects in my home that have earned the right to be placed in my cats' blog. A pair of boots and 2 cat toys.

The Boots


These are my son's boots. He loves these boots. He saved up his own money and bought them over the internet. I'm sure he found them through a link in his favorite website www.vampirefreaks.com . I could build a whole blog on the contents of his room and closet and it would be a real hoot!

Anyway, the significance of these boots is that they are sitting out in the middle of my living room at the moment. They are in danger. If you notice, there is a "Wobbler" toy we fished out of a box of Frosted Flakes a few weeks ago, sitting only a couple of feet away. This has become one of Twiggy's favorite toys. If my son does not act quickly and remove these boots to the safety of his closet, they will not last long. They will become the victims of a tragic and senseless "CLAW BY". Much like a "Drive By", they will become plastered with a bunch of tiny, little holes and left for dead... Mangled and ugly, with no hope for redemption. They will then be laid to rest with all of the previous "Claw By" victims... never to be worn again. Quite a shame really...Footwear being cruelly "taken out" in it's prime... Never to really know their full potential. So let's all say a prayer for the Gothic Platform Boots! Good Luck Guys! We hope you live to walk another day!

The 2 Cat Toys


Meet Blue and Red Mousy. They are two of the cat toys that live in my house. Obviously, Blue has done a little more living than Red. In fact, Blue looks like he has been through hell and back again. He has been dragged through the kitty door about 1000 times (see Puddin's Payback). He has also been scratched up, chewed on, carried around and laid on for the past three years. He has even been fought over many a time! He's had reconstructive surgery several times to reconnect his springy little tail.

I took this picture yesterday. Poor Red is still sitting in the exact same spot! Blue has made it all the way to the other end of the house... Nobody loves Red... If Blue goes missing, Puddin' wails and cries until we find his little buddy. I am not really sure what makes Blue so much better than Red. The cats have spent time with both of them. They made an effort. But in the end, when the kitty cat polls were closed for voting, Red Mousy lost ...miserably. Landslide victory for Blue Mousy! Go Blue!!!
I suppose we will never know the reasons why.... It will just have to remain one of the great mysteries of the universe.

Twiggy the Trickster

Caught In The Act



Twiggy...What are you doing? You have that guilty look! Mommy will catch you and you will be in trouble.



Chipper, you better not rat me out. I will just give mommy that sweet and innocent look...Oh no! here comes Mommy...everybody be cool!





I didn't do it! I have no idea why these tissues are here in the floor... right by me. I know you've caught me pulling stuff out of the trash before, but...

You know, I think I'll just go check out this drawer. I am completely innocent. Really I am! Just gonna check out this drawer...

Twiggy, I don't even have to say a word... All I have to do is sit back, enjoy the show and wait for you to tell on yourself.

Shut up, Chipper.! I know...I am SO busted...but you DON'T have to enjoy it so much!

Public Enemy #1

I am Sammy! I am beautiful and I do not want those other cats around. If they would just leave me alone I would be just fine! Grumpy old Stoney is a complete jack-ass. I will just be laying on my favorite furry blanket getting my beauty sleep and that creep will come up and swat my pretty little nose for no good reason at all!!! He has turned all the other cats against me, too.
I really don't care, though, because Mommy loves me. That is all I need. Every time Mommy lays down on the couch I run as fast as I can and lay on her tummy. Partially because I love her so much. - but the main reason I do it is because it really irritates those other mean little kitties and grumpy old Stoney. They don't like it at all!!! HAH! HAH! HAH!

Mommy keeps saying I'm a diva, whatever that means...Anyway, gotta run...time to groom, snub those other kitties and catch some more beauty sleep.

Old Man Stoney

I'm Stoney. I'm old and tired. I just like to go with the flow. Unless Sammy is around. I don't like her. I love to torture her and chase her around the house. Putting the fear of God into her is my reason for being when I am not asleep, eating or trying to molest Chipper. Mommy keeps calling me gay and yells at me when I try to hump Chipper... Not real sure what that means...all I know is Chipper is so sweet and handsome, I can't help myself. If you knew Sammy, you'd try to hump Chipper, too. Sammy just gets on my nerves. Mom brought her home 7 years ago back when I was the only cat in the house. My life has never been the same since.

I have to do something to get attention...so I terrorize Sammy and try to "be gay" with Chipper. Chipper doesn't seem to like it too much...but I really don't care. I am THE BOSS. This is my house and I do what I want....which, based on what I've told you so far isn't much, huh?
Oh, well... I guess it's time for a nap.

Charming Chipper

Hi. I'm Chipper! I'm the sweet one. Mommy says I'm the sensitive one (whatever that means). I sure do hate it when Mommy gives my lovin' to those other kitties. After all... I love her sooooo much and I am soooooo sweet. I think Mommy should give all her attention to me! There is one place I make sure I get her ALL TO MYSELF. When Mommy sings us the "Time for Nighty Night Song" (Boy, I love that song!) I know it's time to run to the bed. I let my mommy get all comfy and then I stand guard... walking the perimeter of the bed, letting all the other cats know to BACK OFF - SHE'S ALL MINE NOW!
I let Mommy rub my belly until she falls asleep (she loves doing this).
Sometimes she'll be so tired, she falls asleep too quick so I have to tap her on the nose and wake her up ... I know she'd be sad if she didn't get to rub my belly a few more minutes. Then when I know she's done, I roll over and snuggle against her so we can go to sleep.
Because I am such a sweet guy, I'll let the other kitties come lay down by my mommy's feet or on her butt after my belly rub is over.
I get to lay up on the pillow next to Mommy's head all night because I know she wants it that way. If I lay up there I can let her know when it is time to get up. Sometimes I pet her face sweetly. She loves it. I know this because she wakes right up and says "OW....OH...CHIPPER" and then something about "it would be so sweet if"...and then something about not having my "claws out". Anyway, I don't really understand what she's yapping about. Then she rubs my belly some more.