Puddin's Payback

Hi, I'm Puddin'. I'm one of Mommy's Maine Coon babies. I try to keep my hi-jinx pretty low key.
When I was a baby, we got this new pet door that let us go out on the enclosed porch. It was great!!! But I couldn't get my favorite toy out the door with me!!! Talk about frustration. All I wanted to do was take my toy out into the sunlight and enjoy the fresh air coming through the screens.
My toy is a giant mousy cut out of a piece of carpet with googly eyes and (this part is brilliant!) a big springy thingy for a tail that stands straight up in the air!! On the end of the springy thingy is a cool sparkly ball with a bell!! Oh, man....talk about fun!!!
I would put the springy thingy in my mouth and try to go through the little pet door....and BAM... I'd pull and pull with my little arms and legs, but the mousy was too wide to go through the door. Mommy was so mean...she would laugh and point. The whole time I'm thinking "GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP ME!!"... Boy, I showed her... after a couple days I figured it out. I just tucked that mousy under my belly and held the sparkly ball in my mouth and... WHOOSH...me and mousy were out the door!
Kiss my butt mommy!!

THE PAYBACK... for her lack of crucial assistance... I developed a horrid case of "The Runs" and made sure I pooped all over the place!!!! It was both messy and stinky!!! She'd get down on her hands and knees to scrub up my stinky artwork and I laughed and pointed. I'm sure she was thinking "Get your ass over here and help me!!" It was a riot! Well...that is...until mommy had to take me to the vet and my booty was sooooo sore from all that diarrhea! Anyway...she was really sweet and loving about the whole mess, so I haven't pulled rank like that again. I sure am glad my booty isn't sore anymore!